in Catholic parent, children, Christianity, dance, dating, Family, get the girl, Important family issues, life, love, manners, parenting, Raising daughters, Relationships, Uncategorized ≈ 29 Comments (Part II begins here) Before I get started and offer some teenaged dating rules for girls, I want to say a couple things. I’ve been asked about this topic many times, when I talk to mom’s groups, in casual conversations, and in emails. I am sharing here what is now morphing into our own family’s dating rules for girls, either formally or informally. That’s the motivation of this post- to answer the people who have asked me the question of what we do.In other words, they’ll be better able to handle it.This is not to say that boy/girl relationships are totally off limits before age 18. Girls can meet en masse with young men at Steak and Shake, Burger King or the local pizza place, at the homes of (carefully chosen) friends for get-togethers , with parents present…whom the girls’ parents know…and who share similar values.Principles hold true even where fads and fashions fade.An evolution of culture may include outward appearances that differ from generations before (clothes, trends, even ideas), but objective truth and the needs of the human soul remain constant- they always were, they are and they will remain the same in the future.If her father is loving and protective, and pays appropriate attention to her by cheering her on in her accomplishments, whether those accomplishments are in soccer or dance or something else…compliments her on her femininity, telling her she looks pretty in a dress when she does or that he notices and likes her new haircut, he is encouraging her to take care of herself and value herself.When a girl values herself by being valued first by her father (both for she accomplishes), this sets a lifelong trend of a girl having self respect.
Girls and boys of teenaged age can do service work, meet in study groups, work together in clubs of mutual interest.It lays the groundwork for healthy sense of self as well as healthy relationships with others, including males, for a girl’s entire lifetime.What’s more, and along the same lines, a girl’s positive relationship with her brothers also helps her develop healthy personal and social relationships with males, which helps later on in her life.Interestingly, the negative mail I got about this topic was primarily from the very group of women who prided themselves, at least in college, in being open minded. Our girls’ dad and I believe in fiercely protecting the treasures our daughters are while they are minors, and helping them make good choices, protect themselves and choose wisely as they mature and become adults. But for now, here we go- Mom’s Dating Rules for Girls 1. Yes, I am quite serious, and it’s working out great!We see their vocation choices as uniquely theirs- and encourage them to explore all vocations- the married life, the single life and the consecrated religious life. They are by no means perfect because of course we as parents are not perfect. To the best of my knowledge, nobody feels deprived with this rule. I think the girls feel very happy where they are socially.Taking dating off the table until they are older frees up the girls to be themselves in these new situations, instead of worrying if he will ‘ask me out’ or want to ‘go steady’, or ‘go out’, or whatever the current exclusive terminology is.Friendships with the opposite sex should first be cultivated Little girls’ first experience with a member of the opposite sex is her relationship with her father.By interacting with members of the opposite sex in casual and natural circumstances, girls learn about themselves and about the boys.Young teen one-on- one dating is discouraged because two teens of the opposite sex being alone with one another for any period of time can be a huge temptation, even with the best of intentions.The skills she uses when communicating with her brothers are the same skills she will later use to communicate with other guys.When parents encourage sibling bonding and teach their sons to protect their sisters, they are setting the groundwork for a happy later life for them both.