It isn't that popular Christian conceptions of dating boundaries are too big, but that their scope is too small. It will draw boundaries that reflect the full personhood of each individual by showing concern for every aspect of each individual—personal, emotional, moral, and sexual, to name only a few of those many interrelated aspects. Personal agency maintained by good boundaries furnishes romantic intimacy with meaning and substance.We ask physical and quantitative questions: “How many inches can I move my hand? So here are some ways to think about not only physical boundaries but also several fundamental aspects of personhood. Love presupposes freedom, and freedom presupposes the relational safety to say “no.” (2) Emotional boundaries promote relational health.The world’s approach can provide fun and sex and children and eventually even some level of commitment, but it cannot lead to the life-giving Jesus after whom our marriages are to take their cues.Friends who enjoy sex with “no strings attached” will find pleasure, but not the peaks waiting on the other side of mutual promises.They’re settling for less than God intended and less than he made possible by sending his Son to rescue and repurpose our lives, including our love lives, for something more. And a Christian union can only be found through Christian dating.If Christian dating — the intentional, selfless, and prayerful process of pursuing marriage — sounds like slavery, we don’t get it.It’s not nearly a comprehensive or exhaustive list.They’re simply lessons I’ve learned and hope can be a blessing for you, your boyfriend or girlfriend, and your future spouse.
Here are (some) principles for your not-yet marriages.
To give another your whole heart too early is both unsafe to you and unfair to them. (Be worried if people start giving you couple combo-names like “Brannifer” or “Joeronica.”) (4) Sexual boundaries promote independence, health, and clarity.
Timeliness is as important as integrity in a relationship (Prov. To respect timeliness in what you allow yourself to feel and how you express it does not devalue your emotions through suppression. Yet we often talk about sexual purity as putting our hearts in a cage only to be unlocked in on the wedding day.
But the problem with most views of boundaries is that purity itself becomes conceived of as a list, rather than as a kind of relationship with Christ, community, and a romantic other.
Boundaries in dating are not first and foremost God's prescriptions for moral purity so much as they are God's structure of care for human dignity.