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Even though all three of them have just had a conversation about Ely’s girlfriend and Max is apparently repulsed by Ely? At Ely’s we’re introduced to Daria, Ely’s roommate, who stands in the doorway and says with the charm and human warmth of a free text to speech language translator, “Hi, Max, looking cute as usual.” Max and Ely decide to go see a movie even though where a spark between two people should be there’s a giant sigh. Cut to a montage of women in wedding gowns where there’s spoken word narration about heterosexual marriage being echoed by a whisper narration and I sort of want to cry.

When they get back to Ely’s house they have a stilted conversation about how the world rests on queer filmmakers shoulders to represent an entire culture, which feels suspiciously like these filmmakers are asking the audience to forgive them not even 30 minutes into their own movie. You know that part of when Willy Wonka takes everyone down that tunnel and the overstimulation of everything is too much? Now we’ve got some soundscapes easing us into a scene where Daria is having sex with a woman on a bed, and on that same bed a cat sits so close to their bodies it might even be touching them.

Without explanation and after too long a conversation about tea (honestly what’s the tea thing), Max and Ely start making out on the couch despite zero chemistry and Ely’s monogamous relationship. Now the camera is just doing a loop-de-do around their crotch areas. Here’s the thing: I 100% know someone’s doing this very thing right now like it’s a nonissue and I want to die.

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” and then quietly exit through the bathroom window, but instead Max brings Ely a set of clippers knowing full well what’s about to happen. The entire experience feels like when someone’s telling you a story but realize pretty quickly into that it’s bad and just keep going anyway.

Then Ely shows up early at Max’s place and Max is still in her robe.

As they small talk on the couch Max takes Ely’s hands and says, “Oh, look at your nails,” as if to say, “Oh, look at your NAILS.” Ely registers this about 30 seconds later and calls into the bathroom where Max has just returned to, “Hey, do you have any clippers?

Like the tiniest hint of an iceberg's white tip, love is but a symptom of something bigger to come.

Sometimes reality can get in the way of a solid, down-to-Earth, real world romance. Pack your bag and run away in style with this couple of chic lovers. Stay trendy and look cute in lots of modern clothes. Lovely Susan couldn't possibly get ready for the prom on time: her room is a mess and her mom has asked her to clean it up and tidy up before she leaves for the prom ball, and she still hasn't yet ...