If you are afraid of failing, it will be harder for you to try and keep trying. Kids seeing their divorced parents beginning to date again often feel their own brand of rejection.
They fear that dad will stop loving them if he loves someone else.
Certainly, divorced dads know how tough it is to survive the divorce and its aftermath.
Especially when you have been an innocent victim, or when you put a lot of effort into saving the marriage only to not succeed, there are some serious scars.
That said, don't let a fear of your children being upset or disapproving stop you from getting out there if you feel ready to.
"Too many women hide behind their kids as an excuse not to date," says Gadoua.
But if you were thinking that searching for companionship online is strictly for losers or perverts, forget it — that's as outmoded as dial-up.Contemplating the dating scene, many divorced women feel not just garden-variety nerves, but "actual terror," says Dr. Just remember that your fears are normal — after all, you're dealing with or have dealt with a major betrayal and upheaval — and that you don't have to jump all the way in. Tell a few trusted friends that you're interested in meeting people. "Sit down and craft a statement of what, exactly, you're after. If you feel the same way, she offers this advice: "I suggest you try to reframe it as an adventure, or as an education," she says.Accept invitations to parties." While it's not unheard of for a woman wounded by a painful divorce to make statements like "all men are jerks" or "all the good ones are taken," that's obviously not a good mindset to have going into dating, says Dr. "That kind of thinking can tank your mood — and cause you to limit your chances of getting out there and finding love." By forcing yourself to keep your negative thoughts in check, you'll soon be in the habit of thinking optimistically, which will in turn make you more ready to date again. You've decided to start dating — isn't that your "intention" right there? "Dating can be a way to sharpen your social skills too." And, of course, a way to get out of the house and have some fun!So figuring out when and how to start dating after a divorce can be a real dilemma for a divorced dad.Many dads take a long time to recover before they are ready to date again; and some are ready within a few weeks or months.They may be used to having dad all to themselves on their weekends with him (or at home if he is the custodial parent) and may worry about being replaced or alone.Remember, the kids are usually the innocent victims in a broken marriage and family, and it is our first responsibility to meet their needs and take care of them."Online dating is not only mainstream, it's one of the best ways to widen your search, rather than just hoping that you'll meet someone in the coffee shop," says Dr. And these days, there's a site for everyone, from e Harmony and Match to niche sites like JDate.Check out our Guide to Online Dating to learn the basics including setting up a profile to taking a relationship offline. Kirschner says it's easy to build up a fantasy of what he is like based on his profile and the emails you exchange.Be up-front and respectful, but don't apologize for wanting to date."Most children just want their parent to be happy, and may be less likely to object than you imagine," she says.