We exchanged numbers, kissed, said our goodbyes, and I left feeling quite pleased with myself, knowing that I had played my cards right. I wasn’t expecting a call on Monday or Tuesday because of the ‘rules’ and all that, but by Wednesday night I started to feel a little panicked. By 7 pm I had two choices: resign myself to the fact that he isn’t into me, or do something I had never, ever done before- call him. As the phone rang I practiced the message I would leave on his voicemail in my head but was interrupted when, to my astonishment, a very perplexed-sounding J answered the phone.
Deducing that I had nothing to lose, I decided to go with the latter because he was cute and funny and he gave me butterflies in my stomach which no one had done since my ex and I had been incapable of feeling anything for anyone after my ex and now I finally had feelings again and feelings don’t come around every day so I wasn’t gonna let this go so easily. From there, a horrifically awkward conversation ensued.
I didn’t get it, he was so into me that weekend, what could have possibly changed so dramatically?
He asked for photos, so I sent him photos and it seemed his Japanese skills weren’t up to par, so I was helping him out by using body language instead of Japanese. He next messaged me repeating, “Please open it,” followed by a picture of a different i Tunes card, and again said, “Please open it.” I could just picture FH stewing behind his computer screen! He couldn’t handle my fighting style anymore and sent flaming bears my way as a last ditch effort to salvage the battle. Taking a photo of myself in bed, I hoped to send the unwritten message, “If you want to get at my i Tunes card number, you gotta creep to my pillow! You meet, you hit it off, you get really excited because you’ve finally found a great guy, and after that…silence.Once you’ve hit day four all hope dissipates and you must sadly accept the fact that you will never be hearing from him.But if you want to, um, then yeah, sure okay I guess I mean if you want to” “Um okay.See you soon.” At this point, I was absolutely panicked.Since I was still a little confused as to what he wanted me to do I asked, “What should I open? I replied, “Hold on, hold on,” and sent him some more photos: Fake Horyusuke was getting really, really mad now! ” Fake Horyusuke was so mad, he could only bring himself to respond with yet another flaming bear. This was the third time he’d asked me to open the card and his short, demanding messages seemed tinged with frustration, but I wasn’t going to let him off easily: After my latest barrage of photos, I just wanted to confirm that this was what FH was asking, so I wrote, “Right here, is that correct? ” You know, just to make sure I was understanding him ;) FH replied rather shortly and in a demanding tone, “Take a photo of the entire card,” followed by “Send over the text part.” Sure thing! By this point FH was seething mad and fired back with a random slew of Japanese words. Well, I might as well take the silver sticker all the way off and uncover those numbers he’s after: I peeled off the sticker almost all the way and even took a close-up photo of the card, just like FH wanted! ” I decided to follow up with a tactic I like to call “I’m trying so hard to take a good picture, but the angle is so difficult to get right.” Unfortunately, Fake Horyusuke wasn’t having any of it, formally declaring that he was not amused. I decided to deliver one final “Bed In” move to seal his fate. Here’s “putting the card so close to the light that everything looks white” and “Standing shot”: I threw in some “standing shots” for good measure: That was at pm. I guess it was time to unveil the i Tunes card number he so desperately wanted: Slowly, ever so slowly, I peeled back the silver sticker covering up the i Tunes card number and sent him photos of the unveiling. Of course, a close-up of the unpeeled numbers with the sticker blocking his view wasn’t what FH was after. FH’s response was, in a word, EPIC: That’s nine flaming bears in a row! I could just imagine Fake Horyusuke’s anticipation as the numbers slowly came into focus. QUIZ: Are You Accidentally Destroying Your Love Life?Ten minutes later he called to tell me he was waiting downstairs.