Q I recently learned that my daughter, in her 20s, is online dating.I’m afraid I reacted badly when I heard, so I haven’t much further information apart from her telling me that she ha d been on a few dates. How do I convince her to take the danger seriously?“All this winking and liking and chat rooms, I don’t even like that word ‘wink’, I don’t want to be winked at. “When my husband and I dated we went out to wine bars and things like that, and we both used to make an effort to look nice and presentable.” Old Style Dating doesn’t use programmes to match subscribers, but allows people to search for potential dates themselves - they can then start chatting anonymously initially.Dennie said: “On the site it does say dates could be going to the seaside, I know no one says seaside now, but that’s the idea.
“It’s still the same principle of whoever catches your eye, but the photo has to be modest, because again a lot of these sites people show everything, they’re just about showing off.
Young people tell me they don’t want their friends to know they are hooking up online because in a small country word travels fast.
“This secret and anonymous side to online dating poses risks for men and women, particularly so when people make the transition from online to face-to-face communication,” says Pat Grange, a therapist with Relationships Ireland.
It is important for your daughter to feel she can talk to you, so perhaps you need to reappraise your disapproval and let her know that you support her in her choices.
That way, if she does have doubts about someone she has met, in whatever circumstance, she is more likely to share them.