What does this say about us – the culture of the “pose” and the “show” in which we live?
What does it say about us that visions of fashion models dance in our heads, drawn from the mass media, movies and advertisements, which clutter our minds and complicate our choices and the process of choosing?
There is a gigantic field of hundreds, and maybe even more, of appropriate and worthwhile mates.
A successful marriage depends less on the identity of the person chosen and more on one’s ability to conduct himself/herself in that marriage on a daily basis.
This transforms the quest of choosing a spouse into something that is much more logical and attainable.
Many years ago, I heard Rav Ahron Soloveichik zt”l explain that bashert guarantees only one thing: God arranges that you encounter that person.
If the latter, then a proper match is already available and waiting. Maybe you are looking in one direction, and he/she is standing in the complete opposite one?
Most couples arrive at this most momentous decision when something in their heart trembles, when everything does not seem perfect.
Moreover, if everything seems perfect, check again.
A single is a complete personality, productive and generous.
Sometimes people forget that singles have lives outside of dating, and that they have other objectives in life aside from finding a spouse.